Welcome to Obsessed With Myshelf’s Smut & Sex Toy Pairing Guide:
LiteralPleasure | The Threesome Edition
What Am I Pairing?
3D Body Sex Doll
Retails around $80 (list price is $359)
Nikki Sloane’s Three Dirty Secrets
See my review HERE
Why Am I Pairing It?
Nikki Sloane writes about threesomes – in case you didn’t know – and she writes about them in a way that is sexy and sensual. I never feel that the two main characters’ relationship is being tested or that it’s been disturbed due to a threesome and that’s probably why I fucking love her books.
In Three Dirty Secrets, Silas and Regan have a full out threesome with Tara. It’s controlled but wild; contained but electric – it’s motherfucking out of this world insanely hot.
That leads us to Tara Torso. Yes, my husband and I named her; No, I don’t think that’s weird. My husband has been hinting at a threesome for almost the entirety of our ten years together. And by hinting I mean he tells me that he thinks it would be really hot if we had a threesome. He’s so…direct.
He even added this sex doll to our Amazon shopping cart six months ago, in that not-so passive aggressive way of his, in an attempt to convince me that if we brought a silicone torso into our bedroom that I might be up for the real thing (before you think he’s being a dick, clearly my husband an I are open about our sexuality. No, he would never do that without me. Yes, we openly discuss our fantasies). Honestly, I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of a threesome, I just prefer that the third have a cock, so thus, we’re at an impasse. But I digress.
However, once I finished Three Dirty Secrets I knew that I had to be The Best Wife Ever and order Tara Torso. I then rationalized it by knowing I could write this post. See? It’s a total win/win.
Are threesomes hot? I don’t know. I can’t answer that question because I had sex with my husband and Tara Torso: a silicone doll that has no head, arms or legs.
Was sex with my husband and a sex doll fun? Actually, yes.
The first question that we both had when she arrived was ‘how big is she?’ The FAQs on Amazon’s page just weren’t very helpful: Q: How long will it last? A: “Mine lasted 2 yrs., but I abused it with a thick tool. If you are gentle with it… maybe 5 yrs.”
Well. Ok then, Amazon. I have been instilled with consumer confidence.
But, back to Tara. She’s bigger than I thought. I was thinking she’d be a Fleshlight with boobs; my husband was hoping for a life size sex doll; her actual dimensions are somewhere in the middle, appeasing us both. She’s 15″ long and her actual measurements are 16x14x23. She’s made out of silicone and is extremely bendy. There’s actually a spine down the back to sort of hold her together.
The first order of business was naming her – I mean, my hubs was a manwhore B.H. (Before Heather), but he’s always been respectful and claims that he at least knew their names. At the time. Thus, we had to name her. Welcome, Tara Torso! After that pesky task was accomplished, we cleaned her. It was a little bit awkward holding her under the sink but it was manageable.
After drying her and then laying her down on a towel on the bed (she still had sort of an oily sheen to her) we basically manhandled her for a little bit, comparing the feel of her boobs to mine and shoving our fingers in every hole to sort of test out the goods – I mean, what else did you expect? We’re curious people.
Her boobs are pretty similar feeling, albeit smaller than mine. *fist pump* This doll has two holes – the vag and ass – and I was wondering how it would feel to my husband. Would it be the same in both holes? Would it feel like me? When you shove your fingers/fist up her (please, she’s inanimate), the vagina actually feels like a vagina inside. I mean, the parts that you would feel are there. I was pretty damn impressed. Despite the fact that her lips look like they were filleted and she doesn’t actually have a clit, the insides felt pretty similar to my own. However, the asshole is not like my asshole. It’s ribbed – I imagine for his pleasure. My asshole is not ribbed. Nope. It’s not.
Spoiler alert: hubs says that both entrances on the doll felt the same.
We then got down to business. It was sort of exciting at first. I was pretending that it was a real person (I HAD TO) and I imagine that hubs was as well. However, truth time: I was sort of bored watching him have sex with the doll. I tried to get involved by licking her and his cock while he was fucking her; but honestly it didn’t really do it for me – probably because she couldn’t exactly reciprocate. All I was tasting was silicone and the occasional penis, and my husband couldn’t really reach me because Tara Torso has to be on her back at the edge of the bed to really get the right angle so I was forced to try to help myself along and that’s frankly, a lot of work.
However, let’s not count her out yet. When he moved over to me and it was my turn to sort of play with her while being the main event, she wasn’t so bad. Sure, she still tasted like silicone, but the visual turned my husband on more than I was expecting, which then, turned me on more than I was expecting.
Like any sex toy, this is not a replacement for the real thing. Am I running out to find a threesome partner now? No. Is my husband? Probably. 😉 I was informed that my parts are still superior to any doll, and while that’s expected, it’s also still nice to know.
The overall report is that Tara seems pretty quality for her price point, doesn’t seem easily tearable, and is a decent size. She really needs a head, and arms, and, most specifically, a tongue to hit it out of the park for me (so basically, she needs to be a real person), but as a sex doll, she’s a decent addition to our collection. Definitely a repeat player, but not one I’m jumping to every time. 3.75 out of 5 stars!