Welcome to Obsessed With Myshelf’s Smut & Sex Toy Pairing Guide:
LiteralPleasure | The All Sort of Tied Up Edition
What Am I Pairing?
Why Am I Pairing It?
In Some Sort of Crazy there’s a scene in which Miles ties up Natalie in the closet and then does crazy awesome things to her. It’s damn hot and definitely worth recreating. The day after I read the book I was in my local sex toy shop looking for a toy to review for an entirely different book and I saw a closet restraint system. I whisper yelled…ok, I yelled…across the store to my husband “Would you be okay with tying me up in the closet?!” – he obviously responded in the affirmative and thus DREAMS WERE MADE REAL. You would think that sex toy shop workers wouldn’t think this was odd, but I still got side eye while we were checking out. Whatever.
This book, like my experience with the closet restraint system, is hilarious and semi-serious and just plain fucking fun. The scene in the book involved liquor, but I wanted to save my carpet and I didn’t feel like putting down a tarp (I was imagining getting trapped in there and then authorities having to show up with me tied up in the closet naked with a tarp thrown on the floor and just figured it was better not to test fate). Therefore, uhhh, no liquor. BUT PLENTY OF AWESOME.
I’ve asked to be tied up before and we’ve done that, but not in a closet and not with anything store bought. I’ve never actually had a real restraint system and I wondered if they were worth it. I mean, why would I buy something to cuff my hands together when we have perfectly good ties that we can ruin? This system had the bonus that it could be used over a door (the instructions state “Place clear bar over the top of the door…Close the door and lock up your lover.”) and I couldn’t think of an alternate way of doing that without getting obnoxiously crafty, so I justified the expense.
The cuffs themselves are actually super comfortable. They close with velcro, which makes them adjustable. No need to worry about cuffs digging into your wrists (unless you want them to). They have little links on them that clip to the over the closet restraint part as well as another clip that links them together – so you can use them as cuffs by themselves or as part of the over the closet restraint system.
Once I was properly naked and tied to my closet door, my husband had a fairly fun time torturing me (in a good way, duh). There’s enough slack so you don’t feel like you’re too confined, but not enough that I could totally freely move (which is the point). The over the closet straps are completely adjustable so you can make them longer or shorter. There’s no putting together of anything – it’s completely ready to go right out of the box.
Bonus: my boobs look AWESOME when I have my hands tied over my head. There was also enough slack that he could turn me so that my face was now looking at the door, so we were able to try out multiple positions.
While I did get pretty fucking fantastic head while tied to a closet door, I didn’t have actual sex. Why? Because either I’m not flexible enough or I need to grow like 2 more inches or a I need a step stool in order to make everything line up properly. There was seriously no position that we could get in – barring him lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist (which we can’t do because he has a bad back) – that would allow for actual sex while I was tied up. That’s not the restraint system’s problem though, that’s just our problem.
It was no big thing – we were able to unclip and move to our bed in seconds and the cuffs were able to be used as, well, cuffs. So, while I didn’t truly recreate the Some Sort of Crazy scene, I still felt that my experience represented the book well since Natalie’s perfectly planned life is thrown off kilter the second Miles walks into it and my perfectly planned recreation was equally thrown off track. But don’t worry – like Natalie, I PRESSED ON.
The verdict: the cuffs were comfortable, fun, and seriously sexy. I was all sort of tied up and I totally loved it. If you’re looking for cute and comfy cuffs with an option to be tied to a door, this inexpensive system is a definite must.